Times like these when I really miss home and the people there. There is just something with the people here that is just different. There are girls who are so blinded by love, girls who hook up with guys who have wives or girlfriends, girls who love to gossip.

I miss people who simply want to have a good time, people who don’t revolve themselves around their lovelife, people who love to travel, and most of all people who love to have intellectual conversations.

I miss talking to people about current events, culture, traveling, drugs, beer, and everything else other than other people’s lives. I miss that.

2013 was really a turning point in my life and that is the time where I discovered the types of people I’d want to be with, and I could not find them here in Doha. People are different here…it’s no fun. But one other thing that scares me is that when I get back home in Manila, I’m scared that the people that I love, my friends, are no longer there anymore.

All my friends are now scattered all over the world and it seems that they are coping up. It kinda scares me sometimes because I utterly hate it here, and I still have a pretty long way to go and I still roughly 19 months to go and it still seems so far away.

Right now, I really don’t know what to do with my life. I still feel that I’m chained to a responsibility that will take forever to finish. I need to send my brother to school and I need to send money to my parents. I have to always think about that, when will the time come that I can just wake up each morning worrying about the things that I want to do? the places that I want to go to and the courses I want to take.

I am so jealous of some of my friends who can just simply do whatever they want with their lives.

I was told before that I can be whatever I want to be, but when you grow up you realize that sometimes you simply don’t have a choice and you just have to do what you NEED to do. It’s sort of frustrating and heartbreaking at the same time. 

  • Track: Home
  • Artist: Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
  • Album: Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

Youtube videos, Cigarettes, and Sleep

This clearly sums up my life right now in Doha. BTW way, I stopped continuing the Doha, OFW series of blog posts just because I was too lazy to post anything and my laptop now isn’t working so well. I need to buy a new one ASAP.

I’ll be on my 5th month here in Doha in 2 days, and I just want the days to go by fast. REALLY FAST. I love my job, and I can try to be the most dedicated person on the planet, but this isn’t really working for me. I mean the environment and the situation I’m in isn’t giving me that much of a fulfillment.

I watched J.K. Rowling’s interview on Oprah the other day, and she really inspires me in a lot of ways. She said that she experienced the lowest pat of her life at the age of 25, and that’s where she started writing the first of the Harry Potter books. I hope I can do that as well.

The thing is, I love to write. I really do. But I don’t live in a country that appreciates that type of art, Like, how many famous writers are there in the Philippines? not so much. And from where I come from, it is very hard to build your way to the top if you don’t have money.

So there we go with problem number 1 = discontentment with life. Problem number 2, well it’s not really a problem. Hmm…Ok…I want to be many things, I want to achieve many things, and I want to do many things. The problem is that I am literally carrying my family on my shoulders. I remember a text that my father sent me which goes something like this:

"Alam kong nahihirapan ka na anak, pero pag nagresign ka, pare pareho tayong magugutom"

Which translates to:”I know you’re having a difficult time, but if you resign we all become hungry”

MAJOR PRESSURE BUILD UP. I’m really jealous of people who can make their own decisions without affecting others. I mean if they want to do something, or if they want to stop doing something…they can just go ahead and do what their heart desires.

But for me, there are people who will be affected by the decisions I make like if I want to study, I have to give up my work, which means I might not be able to send money to the Philippines which will result in everybody getting hungry (in reference to what my father said above). It’s so stressful right?

So here are some of the things that I would love to do, but clearly can’t do right now:

1. Travel - I would love to travel and explore the world. With all the people that I’ve met, I can clearly say that it’s not so hard to see the world anymore.

2. I want to study - I’ve started to search online for institutions providing scholarship grants for people who want to take up Air Traffic management (or something). I really don’t want to be a travel agent forever…and I want to start working in an airport as a Air Traffic Controller. But of course, I can’t do that now.

3. Freedom - Freedom from everything. Freedom from this wretched company, freedom from my parents, freedom from my brother, and freedom to make all the decisions in the world without the need to think if it will affect anybody else.

I remembered what J.K. Rowling said on her interview on Oprah. It was a line from one of the Harry Potter books, I think it was the first one, where Dumbledore said that a truly happy man will see nothing but himself when he looks into the mirror of the Erised.

Well, I am nowhere close to seeing myself there, if ever I get the chance to look into that kind of mirror.

Ciao!

DOHA BLUES 1.02: When I met Jollibee…in Doha 
Above is a perfect example of a happy OFW. I’m the one in the grey shirt (which I think makes me look fat).

Today is the first time in almost 4 months where I got to taste Philippines’ ‘Pride’ Chicken…the Jollibee Chicken Joy. Living so far away from home makes you miss even the things that you don’t usually eat.

I wasn’t really a big fan of the chicken joy, up until now. Tasting that scrumptious deep fried chicken wing after dunking it in gravy made me want to cry. It tastes like home…and I can imagine actually being back in Manila just because of it. Just to clear things out, I’m not exaggerating, it really is THAT good and it tastes just like buying it in a Jollibee branch in Metro Manila.

I always thought that there was something tacky about that big, fat, red bumblebee and I hated attending children’s parties back home because of how chaotic everything felt. How?
The host’s mic was always on full blast
They always played 80s-90s music that none of the kids know
And they always asked the mascot to dance…which was the tackiest part of all

But now that I live so far away, I experienced that same “tacky” party all over again. The host still had that irritating high pitched voice, they played dance songs from the 80s/90s and Jollibee, ofcourse, had a dance number.
But it felt much different now. I felt like I was being transported back home and it felt really good. I’m not really suffering from homesickness, it’s boredom that’s killing me here, and today, seeing Jollibee made me realize that to be happy, you just have to strut your stuff and dance to the groove.
xoxo

DOHA BLUES 1.02: When I met Jollibee…in Doha

Above is a perfect example of a happy OFW. I’m the one in the grey shirt (which I think makes me look fat).

Today is the first time in almost 4 months where I got to taste Philippines’ ‘Pride’ Chicken…the Jollibee Chicken Joy. Living so far away from home makes you miss even the things that you don’t usually eat.

I wasn’t really a big fan of the chicken joy, up until now. Tasting that scrumptious deep fried chicken wing after dunking it in gravy made me want to cry. It tastes like home…and I can imagine actually being back in Manila just because of it. Just to clear things out, I’m not exaggerating, it really is THAT good and it tastes just like buying it in a Jollibee branch in Metro Manila.

I always thought that there was something tacky about that big, fat, red bumblebee and I hated attending children’s parties back home because of how chaotic everything felt. How?

  1. The host’s mic was always on full blast
  2. They always played 80s-90s music that none of the kids know
  3. And they always asked the mascot to dance…which was the tackiest part of all

But now that I live so far away, I experienced that same “tacky” party all over again. The host still had that irritating high pitched voice, they played dance songs from the 80s/90s and Jollibee, ofcourse, had a dance number.

But it felt much different now. I felt like I was being transported back home and it felt really good. I’m not really suffering from homesickness, it’s boredom that’s killing me here, and today, seeing Jollibee made me realize that to be happy, you just have to strut your stuff and dance to the groove.

xoxo


DOHA BLUES 1.01: Chronicles of a bored 20 something
I haven’t been blogging lately due to the fact that I recently moved to the other side of the planet. I am now in Doha, Qatar and I’ve been here of 3 months.
First thing to point out is that it is definitely ‘More fun in the Philippines’. This is one of the most boring places on the planet, for a 24 year old like me. But I ain’t saying that Doha isn’t a beautiful city…it is. In fact it’s really nice for people who want to raise a family. Why?
It’s super clean
It’s super quiet
It’s super posh
And there are no noisy crowds and extreme traffic unlike how it is back in Manila.
But for someone like me who has spent the past year and a half travelling, drinking, and staying up late nights smoking with friends this is totally a 360 degree tranformation. I think that I’ve lost the fun in me and the sad part is that I can’t leave my job just like that. I have to finish my 2 year contract and as of now I still have 20 more months to go. #UGH
Oh and since the company is providing my accommodation, I have a deadly 10pm curfew. But I don’t really mind because there isn’t really much to go to for me to actually go home late. 
I’m ranting. Yes I am. I ask myself every single day, what I’ve gotten myself into. I should be back home in MNL, with my friends going to out of town trips during weekends…It’s so much fun back home but I also realize that in Manila I always go home with nothing but coins in my savings account; which is one of the biggest reasons why I had to leave. Another factor is that my parents aren’t really rich so I have to find ways to help my brother through college.
For young adults like me who have bigger responsibilities, life is super tough and I can’t always be selfish even if I really want to. And now I’m still bored/depressed/lonely/tired working 6 days a week, 9 hours a day, eating sausages and cornflakes. 
xoxo

DOHA BLUES 1.01: Chronicles of a bored 20 something

I haven’t been blogging lately due to the fact that I recently moved to the other side of the planet. I am now in Doha, Qatar and I’ve been here of 3 months.

First thing to point out is that it is definitely ‘More fun in the Philippines’. This is one of the most boring places on the planet, for a 24 year old like me. But I ain’t saying that Doha isn’t a beautiful city…it is. In fact it’s really nice for people who want to raise a family. Why?

  • It’s super clean
  • It’s super quiet
  • It’s super posh
  • And there are no noisy crowds and extreme traffic unlike how it is back in Manila.

But for someone like me who has spent the past year and a half travelling, drinking, and staying up late nights smoking with friends this is totally a 360 degree tranformation. I think that I’ve lost the fun in me and the sad part is that I can’t leave my job just like that. I have to finish my 2 year contract and as of now I still have 20 more months to go. #UGH

Oh and since the company is providing my accommodation, I have a deadly 10pm curfew. But I don’t really mind because there isn’t really much to go to for me to actually go home late. 

I’m ranting. Yes I am. I ask myself every single day, what I’ve gotten myself into. I should be back home in MNL, with my friends going to out of town trips during weekends…It’s so much fun back home but I also realize that in Manila I always go home with nothing but coins in my savings account; which is one of the biggest reasons why I had to leave. Another factor is that my parents aren’t really rich so I have to find ways to help my brother through college.

For young adults like me who have bigger responsibilities, life is super tough and I can’t always be selfish even if I really want to. And now I’m still bored/depressed/lonely/tired working 6 days a week, 9 hours a day, eating sausages and cornflakes. 

xoxo